Home Remodeling Hell

I have several half-finished posts collecting dust in the "draft/edit" stage - I guess my mind is so wrapped around either finishing (or avoiding) home remodeling hell that any day I can finish w/o a meltdown is a success. I've basically lost any vestige of a sense of humor or sense of reality. I've gone w/o a kitchen sink for 3 days - I'm NOT in the mood to be clever or amusing....

But right now I'll do about anything to avoid the odious task of ripping out 16 year old carpet......now I know why the installers wanted 35 cents a sq. foot to make it go away. I still don't know what possessed me to think that saving money for more important lifestyle essentials like shoes, clothes and building up my my Southpark DVD collection would be worth the grime, cat hair and mysterious matter you find underneath that nasty worn carpet.....

Do it yourself remodeling destroys your bank account, your back and any faith you ever had in any inherent goodness of mankind (yep, I dealt with the contractors.....) Now I know the reasons behind the vacant stares of the lost souls shuffling aimlessly up and down down the aisles of the big box hardware stores.......I recognize the smell of desperation filtering through stale dust and paint fumes. I know now that all those "happy" remodeling shows such as on TLC, DIY, etc. etc. are lies - all horrible, life-sucking lies. Sponsored by Satan who wants to sell paint, tile and plumbing parts that defy physics. Those happy home owners on TV are smiling because they have professionals doing all the dirty work for free. They never had to look for replacement parts for faucets that haven't been made since 1983......Did you know there are faucets selling for OVER $500!?!? I will not pay that much for any piece of metal unless it's measured in carats and I can wear the damn thing!

And once I climb out of this circle of hell, I'll be set to plunge into the next one - Real Estate Hell - a dangerous mix of shattered hopes and financial issues (sounds like most of the men I've dated). But at least I don't have to risk frizzy hair or broken fingernails.....